How Do You Gauge Whether or Not You Have Forgiven A Person?

   
I woke up this morning with another revelation about forgiveness.  Most recently I have been struggling with dealing with some folk who require my forgiveness.  If you read my previous posts you will see what God has already spoken to me about forgiveness.


     This morning I was wondering how do I know when I am walking in forgiveness?  I needed to know this because I knew that sooner than later I would be face to face with those individual(s).  How was I suppose to respond?  How was I suppose to feel?  I sincerely believe that the Holy Spirit gave me the answer.  The Holy Spirit said, "You don't gauge whether or not you have forgiven the person based on whether or not you are still experiencing the pain of the offense.  You gauge whether or not you have forgiven the person(s) based on whether or not you are penalizing them for the offense."  It takes me back to Jesus, on the cross saying, "Forgive them Father for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34).    He was still experiencing the pain yet he forgave me AND removed the penalty for my offenses!  This is what forgiveness really is.  It's not about becoming "pain free" over the offense.  It's about being aware of those moments when you want to penalize your offender and then overcoming the temptation to do it.   Do I need to add that you will need the power of the Holy Spirit?  You cannot forgive on your own.  It is in our nature to want to punish someone who hurt us.  Forgiveness removes the punishment but it might not remove the pain.  As a matter of fact, it can be painful to us not to punish the offender.  Wasn't it painful for Jesus?   Perhaps this is what we really mean when we say "I can forgive, but I can't forget."  Sometimes the pain reminds us of the offense even when we have chosen not to penalize the person.  But if we are remembering the offense so we can penalize that person then we have not forgiven that person.

Remember God can heal you from the pain that you have experienced if you are willing to work through it with the help of the Holy Spirit.  You may also need to get the support of other people.  I believe that overcoming the temptation to penalize that individual helps us to heal.

What's the invitation?  Say YES to Forgiveness

Ask God to make you aware of those times when you want to penalize someone who has caused you pain.

How are you being tempted to penalize that person? Giving them the "cold shoulder", gossiping about them behind their backs? Finding ways to push their hot buttons?  Being passive aggressive etc.,?

Once you are aware of your temptation to penalize choose the way out. Which is to forgive; not penalizing the person for the offense.

When you have overcome the temptation to penalize a person who has offended you, that person knowingly or unknowingly has been a recipient of your forgiveness! That's extending unconditionally love.  Isn't that what Jesus did for me and for you?